#Q: 'will you ever do more sideshow comics

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

and now back to your ir/regularly scheduled sanders sides programming.

[duaneodavila]

Surprising Exactly No One, Skadden Associate Is A Pats Fan

(Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

If the polar vortex and the President’s idiotic tweets on the subject haven’t distracted you, you’re probably aware that the Super Bowl is this weekend. It features what is probably the least exciting matchup of all time — the dominant and detestable New England Patriots and the team without a fan base, the Rams. But I’ve made the Super Bowl a de facto national holiday too long, since well before the treatment of Colin Kaepernick and the specter of CTE made the NFL problematic, to not take notice of the event.

So, this morning when Slate’s Ben Mathis-Lilley published an interview with a Pats fan on what it’s like to be hated for your fandom I took notice. Sure, it’s the “poor little rich girl” of sports takes, but what can I say? The allure of procrastination is strong.

But I sat up and took notice during the introduction of the interview subject:

I spoke to one such chowderhead, 37-year-old Boston attorney Nathaniel Adams, about what it’s like to root for a team that much of the rest of the country is sick of—and whether there are diminishing returns on the joy of victory when victory is all you know.

Hmm, an attorney you say? Perhaps this foray into sports news was not procrastination at all, but research for my actual job. And so, like any blogger worth their salt, I took the .3 seconds needed to google that… and of fucking course, the guy is a Skadden attorney.

Reading between the lines of the interview, there are parallels between his time in Biglaw and being a member of Pats nation. After all, it take a certain constitution to navigate the vitriol of opposing counsel and of Chiefs fans. On the subject of being hated, Adams says he doesn’t take it personally:

You understand that people have various reasons for disliking a team. Some of them are good, some of them are, I think, not so good. But it just comes with the territory of being a sports fan, so I don’t take it personally when I’m a subject of vile personal attacks.

He may not take it personally, but he also took the opportunity to make a dig at the haters — painting them as “vile” without details on what he’s referring to so we can make a judgment call for ourselves. +1 lawyering.

Adams, despite being a mergers & acquisitions attorney, goes on to answer some of the interview questions like a seasoned litigator responding to interrogatories — objecting to the question and admitting nothing:

Q: What do you think are some of the valid criticisms of the Patriots? Do you have a positive case that people should actually admire them?

A: I’m not going to offer anything that I think is admirable about the team [as a whole], because I don’t know if there’s anything particularly admirable about any sports team. I also think that criticisms of the team are a little silly and probably petty and born of jealousy. But I think that the general air of discontent or dissatisfaction around the Patriots has more to do with the way they are treated in the media.

Admittedly, I have a pretty low threshold for listening to Pats fans opine on their team, but I perked up when Adams was asked if losing to Eli Manning in the Super Bowl — twice — still hurt:

The fact that it was Manning is really annoying. Even the 18–1 season, I think I and most fans have moved beyond that, but it would’ve been really cool if they had won, and there were some players on that team that it would’ve been really awesome if they got the ring with the Patriots. Like [Randy] Moss and [Wes] Welker, Junior Seau was on that team.

Listen I am a big Giants fan. And as far as I’m concerned they can wheel Eli Manning’s geriatric ass onto the field into the Ocasio-Cortez administration for one reason. Well, two: Super Bowl XLII and XLVI. The G-Men were the only thing standing between the Patriots and an undefeated season and all the insufferable smugness of their fan base, and a grateful nation thanks them for their ability to get the job done. Somehow it helps the 5-11 season knowing that still stings Pats fans.

Speaking of sports stings, the worst part of the Falcons falling apart in the second half of Super Bowl LI was knowing that it made Donald Trump happy. Maybe some Pats fans would prefer not to be painted with the same brush as MAGA hat wearers, but when your owner, head coach, and QB are stanning for the President, well, you have to deal. But Adams reveals he’d rather the only conversations about the Pats be about how great the Pats are. Good luck with that:

Q: Does the fact that Donald Trump has become a part of the storyline of the team take anything away as a fan—seeing Brady, Belichick, and Kraft popping into these unpleasant, heated national news stories?

A: [Pause for comic effect in the manner of Belichick glaring at a reporter who asked a question he doesn’t want to answer.] Yeah, we’re really just focused on the Rams game.

Not to get into my own personal beliefs, but it’s, I’d say, more annoying than anything because it becomes a sideshow to what you want the story to be, which is “our team is awesome.” And so anything that distracts from that, and I guess you could put something like Deflategate in that category too, anything that gives people a reason to talk about the team but not lavish praise on them for being incredible, is something that grates on you.

So you only want to hear praise… that’s not how any of the things work. I mean, Rowdy Roddy Piper was a tremendous wrestler and athlete and yet his obituary refers to him as the “greatest ‘heel'” in the WWE. You just have to take that as part of the faustian deal the Pats have seemingly made.

And you’d think someone at Skadden would get how it works. It’s a dominant entity in its field that churns through the cogs that makes the machine run. It’s a strategy that has worked for Skadden — receiving the designation as the one of the “Fearsome Foursome” of law firms, considered the most feared law firms in the country. According to the BTI Consulting Fearsome ranking the firms at the top — like Skadden — are known for legal teams that “want to start off with a show of force. They bring a lot of talented attorneys to bear early and come on strong. This initial surge lets the other side know they are in for a bigger fight than they ever dreamed—and their client is wildly committed to getting the outcome they want.”

The parallels between Biglaw life and the Pats are getting just a little too close for comfort.

I know Adams’s team is probably going to add to their legacy on Sunday. But in the face of such repeated successes you have two options: the first, which, based on my limited experiences is almost impossible for a Pats fan, is to cheer for your team with quiet dignity — no one gloats when Team USA wipes the floor with the Lithuanians in men’s basketball. The other is to develop a thick skin. The criticisms of the team aren’t likely to decrease just because they add another championship to their trophy case.

Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).

Surprising Exactly No One, Skadden Associate Is A Pats Fan republished via Above the Law